The Lord has been weaving before me a profound truth that I really don’t even know where to begin in accepting or living but know that it is the beginning of something beautiful- wanna see? (My thoughts italicized in red).
Paul says in his letter to the church at Phillipi: “If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: I was circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; 6 as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless. i.e. I had done and accomplished every single external thing possible in order to deserve the favor of God and the right to be spiritually superior and in right-standing with God. But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.”
These are the words of a man who has allowed the Holy Spirit to remove every ounce of entitlement from his life. As I read these words the other night I couldn’t help but be perplexed at how absolutely lost Paul is in his love and devotion for Christ. He has willingly laid aside every accalade that he had ever cherished- not just saying that these things weren’t just the “most important” thing anymore, but calling them TRASH- in comparison with just one thing: knowing Jesus.
Paul had completely unplugged himself from allowing what others thought of him spiritually, the number of prestigious positions he could have held, and even his own opion of himself and made knowing, loving, and being found in Jesus his ONE desire.
Paul had lost the taste for anything in life but Christ- for he knew that nothing else would ever be able to satisfy him the way Jesus could. I found myself a bit perplexed by the end of the passage where Paul says that he WANTS to share in Christ’s sufferings and even in his death…at first I just didn’t get it- surely, Paul must be dilusional or lying…for real, no matter how much you love Jesus, who really wants to share in that? And then it hit me, the greatest things about Jesus were displayed in His suffering for us and as long as Jesus would meet him there [in suffering and death], Paul would endure absolutely anything with Jesus because comfort, safety, or happiness wasn’t Paul’s prize- Jesus was.
I know from experience how easy it is to get caught up in the same things Paul did before his encounter with Jesus- basing our ”Christian lives” and relationship with God on everything but Christ- we begin to believe that our spiritual maturity can be gaged by how many days a week we can be found at church, what leadership positions we hold or ministries we are involved in, the amount of scripture we have memorized, number of mission trips we’ve gone on, or who are parents/grandparents are instead of the ONLY thing that truly matters- KNOWING Jesus. That- and that alone- is the ONLY thing that makes us believers. How far from this we have strayed! How do I know that we’ve strayed? Because the world has come to recognize believers by these things: church attendance, political affiliation, and how we react to various social issues and media frenzies- and as a believer I can attest that this is even what some Christians have narrowed down being a Christian to. So, if being a believer isn’t about these things at all, what then is it about? Well, KNOWING Christ. If Jesus became our one and ONLY prize and goal and we truly KNEW him, then the world would begin to know believers by the HEALING that would flow out of ouf hands in the face of cancer, disease, and even death, the PEACE and JOY that would flow out of our hearts in the most unpeaceful, unnerving situations, and the lack of attachment that we have to ANYTHING of the world because of the utter and absolute ABANDONMENT of our souls to Christ.
The unfortunate truth; however, is that is it much easier to try and secure or earn our spirituality through activities and merits than it is to resign our souls from all earthly attachments, possessing nothing but a heart to KNOW Jesus.
I really wish I could come to some simple conclusion about how to make all of this happen but the truth is- I don’t really know- I am learning to bring my heart to Christ in simplicity and asking that He do the work that only He can do- removing from my heart’s throne anything and anyone else but him. Many of these thoughts have been spurred on by my further reading of A.W. Tozer in “The Pursuit of God;” I close with his words from the chapter titled “The Blessedness of Possessing Nothing” which clarify the true nature of this matter so well:
“There is within the human heart a tough, fiborous root of fallen life whose nature is to possess, always to possess. It covets things with a deep and fierce passion. Not just material possessions (clothes, ipods, cars, etc.) but love and adoration from others, even self-respect. The pronouns my and mine look innocent enough in print, but their constant and universal use is significant. They express the real nature of the old Adamic (Adam) man better than a thousand volumes of theology could ever do. They are verbal symptoms of our disease. The roots of our hearts have grown down into things, and we dare not pull up one rootlet lest we die. Things have become necessary to us, a development never ogininally intended. God’s gifts now take the place of God, and the whole course of nature is upset by this monstrous substitution.”
I close with this final thought from Tozer about how then, we are to live:
“The way to deeper knowledge of God is through the lonely valleys of soul poverty and the abnegation of all things. The blessed ones who possess the kingdom are they who have repudiated every external thing and have rooted from their hearts all sense of possessing. These are the “poor in spirit” (Matt 5). They have reached an inward state paralleling the outward circumstances of the common beggar in the streets of Jerusalem. These blessed poor are no longer slaves to the tyranny of things. They have broken the yoke of the oppressor; and this they have done not by fighting, but by surrendering. Though free from all sense of possessing, yet the possess all things and “theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
